Shana
"I was having panic attacks. I didn't want to live that way anymore. I was in love and I wanted it to work. I was tired of travelling, tired of the whole scene, just tired. I sat around. I was lazy. I wanted a routine, and I wanted to wake up in the same bed every day, and I got my wish."
"The miscarriage was a big part of my absence. That contributed to my further laziness and depression. It was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. And I'm not over it, and I never will be. Everyone says, 'After you fall off a horse, get back up on it again,' but I didn't get back up on the horse. I didn't have the courage. I just think the further along in the term, the harder it is. You can't measure that kind of pain. I accept it, and I understand it; it's just hard. But life goes on. At least I'm optimistic."
"I accept that keeping in shape doesn't come naturally, so I work hard. I hit the gym every day: Pilates, yoga, weights. I used to love wine but I've stopped drinking. I quit smoking and I'll never start again."
"No one would ever believe that I was shy. Up on the runway I don't feel that way. I don't feel like they're looking at me. When I'm doing my job, nothing can touch me. I feel protected. It's backstage I feel vulnerable. My anxiety kicks in in social situations."
"I have this great fear of people - not when I'm on the runway, but backstage. In a room full of people, I really suffer. I sort of go into a tunnel and I feel very removed. I get so tense, I can't swallow, and my heartbeat goes way up. It still happens now, although I'm better at controlling it."